The Best Christmas Gift
by Bodge
Summary: Shelby's Christmas doesn't quite go the way she intended it to, and despite spending the morning heartbroken, she ends the day feeling like it's been the best of her life.


I don't even know what this is, a little something I wrote between eating my weight in chocolate and carbs because 'it's Christmas'. I'll be honest, I'm quite full of festive spirit (my spirit of choice being vodka) and I haven't really given this aay more than a quick glance over before posting, so I'm sorry for any typos or whatever, and I'm really sorry if it makes absolutley no sense. I might go back and edit in a couple of days, but I probably wont.

Merry Christmas and Happy Wednesday, whatever you're doing today, I hope you're enjoying it!

* * *

Shelby sat cross-legged against the headboard of her bed as she gently rubbed circles on the side of her swollen stomach, "please" she whispered as tears pricked at her eyes, "please baby, please not today. She closed her eyes as she felt her stomach tighten again, "really? You're going to make me do this today? You've stayed in there an extra eleven days, just so I get to spend every Christmas for the rest of my life remembering how it felt to give you up?" she asked her unborn child, "you really think I'm ever going to forget you growing inside me? Because I won't kid, it doesn't matter when you're born, it doesn't matter how long it takes until we meet, I will never, ever forget you."

She'd been 18 when she'd first met Hiram and Leroy Berry, the men desperate for a child to love and raise, men who had been turned down for adoption, who had had their first surrogate walk away whilst pregnant with their child. The three of them had hit it off almost instantly, and Shelby had no regrets about agreeing to be their surrogate, and she completely understood why they'd asked her to sign the contract they'd presented her with, the men had been hurt in the past and were trying to protect themselves by drawing up a contract stating Shelby would have no contact with the child until they were eighteen unless the child themselves sought her out. She understood their reasoning, and she had signed without a second thought. No regrets. Until her period didn't arrive. Until she saw two pink lines staring up at her from a white plastic stick. Until it started to sink in that there was a person growing inside her. A person she'd helped create. A person that she'd never get to know.

She'd barely managed to hold back her tears at her first ultrasound, the first appointment when she'd got to hear her baby's heartbeat, when they'd been cheerfully told, "it's a girl". All the things that would usually bring joy to an expectant mother only served to break Shelby's heart a little more. She tried her best not to show it though, she didn't want Hiram and Leroy to think she was going to run like their first surrogate, wasn't sure the two men would survive that happening again, and she was a woman of her word. She'd promised them a baby so she'd give them a baby. And anyway, she reasoned with herself, Hiram and Leroy were in a much better position to raise a baby than she was.

They'd been told she was due December 14th, Hiram and Leroy excited about the thought of having a newborn at Christmas, but it turned out that the infant was quite comfortable in Shelby's womb, and it was now, 1am on the 25th of December, that she'd woken with twinges in her stomach that were more annoying than painful. And as much as she prayed that it was a false alarm, that she'd get another day or two with her baby, she was booked in to be induced on the 27th anyway, deep down she knew that this was it. Christmas Day would be the day her heart would be irreparably shattered as she walked away from her newborn.

Eventually she found sitting still wasn't an option anymore and she made her way through to the nursery, not turning on the light, not wanting to see the room her daughter would grow to call her own. Instead she instinctively made her way to the rocking chair by the window, rocking slowly as she hummed quietly to her bump. Part of her wondered if she should wake Hiram and Leroy, but she reasoned that there was nothing they could do, and right now she just wanted to spend a last few quiet moments with her baby before everything changed.

It was a little after 4am when Shelby found herself stood in the hallway, her contractions had taken on a more regular pattern and they were definitely getting stronger, so she'd decided it was time to wake Hiram and Leroy, she just didn't know how, they hadn't exactly discussed protocol for waking them if she went into labour in the middle of the night. It took a few minutes, and another contraction, before Shelby finally decided to just go for it and knocked softly on their door.

She heard movement from behind the door and seconds later found herself face to face with Hiram, hair sticking up at odd angles, rubbing his eyes as he tried to adjust to the brightness of the landing light, "is everything okay?" he asked, realising only after he'd spoken that it was a stupid question, that she wouldn't have woken them at 4am if everything was fine.

"I erm…" Shelby rubbed at her bump, "I started having contractions a couple of hours ago, I didn't… I thought it might be another false alarm but they're getting stronger and more regular."

"Right, right…" it took Hiram's sleepy brain a few seconds to process Shelby's words. "Right!" it finally clicked, "what do you need us to do?"

"Nothing yet, they're still quite far apart and I, I think I'm going to get in the shower for a while, I just thought you should know."

"Okay, well, if you need anything…"

"I'll let you know" Shelby nodded as she turned and walked into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Leroy mumbled as he rolled over to face his husband.

Hiram was almost in a state of shock as he managed to tell Leroy, "Shelby's in labour. "

"Mmm, okay" Leroy yawned, beginning to doze off. Until he realised what Hiram had said and quickly sat up, suddenly wide awake, "she's… Where is she? We need to get dressed, I'll get the car, and her car seat, is everything in the bag?"

"Leroy" Hiram said softly, taking his husband's hand and squeezing gently, "Shelby's fine, she's gone to shower, she said her contractions are still quite far apart so we don't need to go racing to the hospital yet. I'll give them a call when Shelby's out of the shower in case they ask any questions she needs to answer, but we both know she said she wants to stay here as long as possible, she seemed quite calm so let's just trust her okay, let's listen to her and take things at her pace."

"You're right" Leroy nodded, "sorry, I just wasn't expecting… Well I wasn't expecting Santa to bring our daughter" he chuckled.

"We're doing the right thing aren't we?" Hiram asked, turning to face Leroy.

"Having a baby? It's a bit late to be asking that."

"Not having a baby, asking Shelby to stay away for the next eighteen years" Hiram clarified.

Leroy sighed, he'd asked himself the same question many times since they'd found out Shelby was pregnant and he wasn't sure he knew the answer, "we're doing what we need to do".

Shelby meanwhile had undressed and made her way into the shower, leaning against the wall so the powerful jets of warm water hit the tense, aching muscles of her lower back, rocking on her heels as her stomach tightened again, "I don't know what would be better" she mused once the contraction had passed, "you coming quickly so I don't have to put up with hours of this, or you taking your time so I get to keep you for a little longer."

It turned out that the baby was in no rush, and it wasn't until almost 6pm that Shelby's contractions were close enough for her to decide it was time to go to the hospital. She'd spent most of the afternoon pacing, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time, and she spent most of the twenty minute drive to Lima General squirming in discomfort in the back seat of Hiram's car as Leroy sat beside her looking lost, not knowing what he could do to help.

Despite her labour, they'd had quite a good Christmas. The atmosphere had been a little strange, all three of them knowing that this was probably going to be the last time they spent together, that the next time Hiram and Leroy sat at the dining table, Shelby would be elsewhere, it would just be the two men and their baby, and wherever Shelby was, she'd be alone. At Shelby's insistence, "_I'm fine and I'm starving, she's not just going to fall out, we've got time_." Leroy had cooked the Christmas Dinner he'd planned, Shelby eating hers during short breaks from walking laps of the dining room, she really was ravenous, but she felt like the baby was now so low in her pelvis that she'd be sitting right on her head if she sat down to eat.

They'd put a movie on after dinner but Shelby couldn't tell you what it was, spending a lot of time bent over the couch, rocking her hips as Hiram and Leroy rubbed at her back, her cries and groans getting louder as her contractions became stronger and more frequent.

"You're kidding" she groaned after being examined when she arrived at the hospital, only to be told with a cheerful smile that she was "_at five centimetres, halfway there!_"

"Shelby" Hiram said softly as she began pacing the room after trying, and failing to find a comfortable position on the bed.

"Don't tell me I'm doing well" she told him, "please, I… Just don't say it."

"I was going to ask if you wanted some water" he held up the glass.

She nodded, "I don't suppose something stronger is an option?" she asked, letting him support her as she sipped at the water.

"If you want some painkillers Shelby, nobody would judge you for that." She'd been adamant all through her pregnancy that she wanted a drug free birth, that unless the baby was in danger, she wanted to deliver her as naturally as possible.

Shelby shook her head, "I don't, I can…" she gripped at Hiram, groaning as she felt her stomach tighten again, "I can manage" she panted once the contraction passed. She felt almost like she deserved the pain, a physical punishment for her actions, she was giving away her baby. She'd willingly got pregnant, willingly agreed to walk away for eighteen years, she felt like, as much as she'd love something to take the edge off the contractions, she deserved it, she deserved the pain and discomfort of an unmedicated labour and delivery.

"Okay" Hiram offered Shelby the glass of water again, "but it's okay if you change your mind."

"I won't" she said firmly as she began to pace again.

And she didn't. She was still going strong, exhausted but strong when, at almost 10pm, she was told she was ready to push, and she forced herself to concentrate on now, to focus on bringing the baby into the world, and not on the devastating loneliness and emptiness that she knew would come afterwards.

"One more push Shelby and this will all be over, you're doing so well" the midwife encouraged, Shelby feeling like she'd been pushing for weeks. "Who's having first cuddle?" the midwife asked Leroy as Hiram comforted and encouraged Shelby.

Shelby was oblivious to everything but the feel of almost every muscle in her body tightening as she tried to rid herself of the baby she'd housed for almost 42 weeks, she didn't hear Leroy's simple answer of "her Mom."

Shelby let out a grunt as she felt the baby slip from her body, shedding tears of her own as she heard her baby cry. She screwed her eyes shut, turning her head, not wanting to see Hiram and Leroy fussing over the baby she'd never get to meet. But she frowned when she felt something placed against her chest, something warm and heavy, something slightly damp and wriggling slightly, and she opened her eyes to find the newborn laid on her chest, a white towel covering her back to keep her warm.

"No" she whispered, shaking her head as she began to cry harder, "please" she turned her head away again, "please don't make me do this".

"Don't make you do what?" Hiram asked as he placed his hand on his daughter's back to support her when Shelby made no effort to lift her own arms from the bed.

"Don't make me hold her" Shelby whispered, "it's already killing me to know you're going to take her, and I won't, I won't stop you taking her, but please don't make me love her any more than I already do."

"We know you love her" Leroy said softly, taking some tissue from the nurse and gently wiping Shelby's tears, "when Hiram told me you were in labour, he asked me if we were making the right decision asking you to stay away until she was eighteen. And the more I think about it, the more I think that we're not. She'll need her Mom, and if you want to, then we want you to be a part of her life."

Shelby looked up at him, "you, you're serious?" she asked, "you're not...this isn't a joke?"

Leroy wiped at Shelby's eyes again, "it's not a joke Shelby, you can be around as much or as little as you want, but we'd like you to raise her with us."

"We're not joking" Hiram confirmed, taking Shelby's hand and gently placing it on the baby's back, "we wouldn't joke about something like this. If you want to be her Mommy then we want you to raise her with us."

"I do" Shelby sobbed, "I didn't realise how hard it would be to give her up, but every appointment, every day, I fell more and more in love with her and…" she finally glanced down at the bundle against her chest and cried harder, causing the baby to cry too, "she's so beautiful" she whispered.

Leroy tucked Shelby's hair behind her ears, "I haven't seen her properly yet, but from what I have seen, she looks just like you."

The baby let out a loud whine as she nuzzled against Shelby's chest, "do you want me to find someone to help you feed her?" Hiram asked when he noticed the midwife and the nurses were all 'busy' trying to give them as much privacy as they could in the small room, "or do you want me to ask for a bottle?"

Shelby finally tore her eyes from her daughter to look at Hiram, "I, I can feed her?"

"Yeah" he smiled, "if you want to."

"I, I'd like that" Shelby's gaze moved back to her daughter.

Hiram nodded when he saw the midwife look over, and she walked over to the bed, "okay" she smiled softly, "let's get this little one fed and then we can see about delivering the placenta and getting you both cleaned up" she said with a smile.

Hiram and Leroy both cut the baby's umbilical cord once she'd finished feeding, and Hiram stayed with Shelby, Leroy going with Rachel as both mother and daughter were checked over.

Shelby had been settled into a bed in a private room on the postnatal ward by the time Leroy came back, baby dressed in a pink sleepsuit and hat, wrapped in a plain white blanket, sleeping in his arms, "everything's fine" he said as he placed her carefully back in Shelby's arms, "and we found out, when they unwrapped her to weigh her, that she's got quite a spectacular set of lungs on her."

"She's perfect" Shelby gently stroked her cheek, "I can't believe…" she looked up, her gaze flicking from Hiram to Leroy before dropping back to her daughter, "thank you."

Leroy kissed Shelby's cheek, you're the one that's given us a Christmas gift that nobody will ever be able to beat. We should be the ones thanking you."

Shelby smiled sleepily as she started losing the fight to keep her eyes open, "can you let me get some sleep before you thank me?" she joked.

"Of course" Leroy smiled, carefully taking hold of the newborn as Shelby offered her to him, not wanting to fall asleep holding her.

Leroy passed the baby over to his husband, knowing Hiram hadn't really had a chance to hold her yet, Shelby had had a nice long cuddle with her just after she'd been born and he'd got to hold her after she'd been checked over. He smiled as he watched Hiram adjust his hold on their child as he dropped a kiss to Shelby's hair, "oh, and Shelby" Hiram said softly as he glanced up at the clock, 11.57pm, Shelby gave a hum in response, "Merry Christmas."


End file.
